insert cool weblog title here

dead to the world

2004-10-16T03:12:00.000-06:00

This blog is officially dead. All posting, from now on, will be done here.

new site in progress

2004-10-15T09:43:00.000-06:00

Well, I've got the "new" site up and running. Nice new layout and everything. I've got my portfolio up, and I'm working on getting the blog working properly. For some reason, I'm having trouble getting a blog to properly publish to the site. I'm wondering if Moveable Type, or something similar, might work better for me. Either way, I'll probably be sticking with blogger if I decide to do the whole "write a personal blog under a pseudonym" thing.

various things

2004-10-14T22:05:00.000-06:00

My article will run next week. I guess it (the Palestine one) just got bumped to make room for the newbies. So much for seniority. Any who...that's that. The "spelling" one will probably not be running, but I'm not too worried about it.

I'm thinking of making some major changes to my website, not least of which would be making this blog the index page of http://www.ualberta.ca/~asnider. I plan to make the whole site into more of a "weblog," similar to sites like die puny humans, plasticbag.org, or Allan's defunct Chem Defender.

What I want to do is make the site look nicer (not that Allan didn't make the main, portfolio section of the site look nice) by getting a new template for the blog (i.e.: not the current one), and by using a smaller font so that you won't have to scroll to the bottom of the page to see the side bar links.

Additionally, since I would like to keep this blog linked to my portfolio, I will probably not be going into as much detail about the more intimate parts of my private life.[1]

So, to sum up, I plan to do a complete overhaul on the appearance of the site, make it more user friendly, and make it some what more professional. Over all, I think the changes will be better for both myself and for my readers (and, don't worry, if you want to know the intimate details of my life, you can still talk to me in person or over MSN).

[1]The main reason that I want to keep the blog linked to the portfolio is because, in theory, it will give potential employers a "living" example of my writing. Sure, the portfolio links to various articles I've written, but the blog shows different writing styles, which don't necessarily appear in the articles. This was the original reason that I put a link to the blog on the portfolio index page. Unfortunately, the blog ended up being much more of a personal confessional than I ever intended it to be. The problem, of course, is that linking from a professional page to a blog of this sort just isn't, well, professional. Add to this the recent incident involving a certain student councilor and his blog (i.e.: I'm trying to be something of a journalist, so I don't necessarily want all of my personal, unobjective views plastered all over the net), and you can see why I'd want to change the format. So, while I'll most likely leave the archives intact, this blog will soon be changing it's format. I might start up a new personal blog under a pseudonym but I am, at the moment, undecided about that. Damn, this was a long footnote.

of dictionaries and double-doubles

2004-10-13T01:33:00.000-06:00

So, tonight I spent about 4 and a half hours at Remedy. After we went to the dictionary lecture (which, considering the subject matter, was surprisingly awesome), Stacey and I headed over to Remedy for coffee[1]. We were chatting about all sort of random shit -- classes, writing, civic elections, music, Shakespeare, wishing we could speak French -- and, at some point, she checked her watch. We were both thinking that it was, at the latest, around 7:00pm. It turns out it was nearly 9:00. Apparently, time flies when you're having fun.

So, yeah, things went exceedingly well. Stacey is really an awesome girl. I fled rather quickly when we reached the point where we were to go our separate ways for the night, but hopefully she realized that I had a good time and wasn't trying to run away.

I don't know that there is a lot to tell. We have a lot in common -- we're both English nerds, we both have an eclectic taste in music, we seem to have similar outlooks on social issues, I don't know. It was a good time. I hope I don't sound like I'm gushing too much.

Any way, yeah, it was a good time and I'm looking forward to hanging out with her again (as soon as we make plans to do so).

[1]She reads this blog, therefore, she gets identified by her name, rather than a pseudonym.

nerds for words

2004-10-11T21:03:00.000-06:00

I've been doing the Lavalife thing again lately. I met this girl, let's call her She Just Laughs (SJL, if I am feeling lazy), and she seems pretty awesome. She googled me before adding me to her MSN list, so she reads this blog now. She wasn't scared off, so that's probably a good thing.

But, the actual good stuff is that she seems to be as big an English nerd as I am, if not more. In fact, we're going to a lecture about the Canadian Oxford Dictionary together tomorrow. Awesome, no? After, we'll be heading over to Remedy for some coffee and chatting.

After that, I have a photo shoot to attend for an ed magazine article about NaNoWriMo that one of my fellow NaNo'ers wrote. I assume, if the photo shoot is tomorrow, that it will be appearing in this Saturday's ed. If not, it should be running sometime this month, so you might just see my ugly mug in there.

In other news, ExpressNews did a little write up about my English 407 prof, and about the concept of the class itself. This is probably of no interest to anyone but myself, but I figured I'd post it any way.

aging makes for anger

2004-10-09T15:14:00.000-06:00

Yesterday was my mom's birthday. As she has been for as many birthdays as I can remember -- at least five -- she was irrationally angry for most of the evening. No effort is good enough. One of these years, we're all just going to stop trying. No matter how hard you try, there is always something wrong.

The weird thing is, she generally isn't the "nothing pleases me" type. I mean, sure, if she's in a particularly bad mood, she might act that way -- who doesn't, once in a while? -- but generally she will appreciate the effort, even if the actual result isn't quite what she was hoping for. However, on her birthday, nothing can be done properly. I really have no idea why. The only explanation I can think of is that she has issues with aging. Given the way our society tends to look at the elderly (not that she's old enough to be considered "elderly," but you know what I mean), especially elderly women, I can't say I blame her. Still, that's no reason to make your family feel like shit. It isn't our fault.

fuck d h lawrence

2004-10-07T22:36:00.000-06:00

I should have been reading Women in Love. Instead, I was reading nunt. Mingus Tourette is fucking amazing. I read the entire book in essentially one sitting (books I - III were read in a single sitting, book IV was read about two hours later). It is incredible.

I don't understand much of it yet -- that will take several more readings -- but it is amazing. Seriously, it's some of the best poetry I've read in a long time. Better even than Bukowski. Well, maybe not. But definitely very close. Maybe better. I'm not sure. But awesome, whatever the case.

Go pick up a copy of nunt. It's only $14.95. Less for my one or two American readers (who will probably have a harder time getting the book than the Edmontonians in the crowd). Get it. Now. Or I'll tell Mingus to kill you. He'll do it, too.

too much food

2004-10-07T20:37:00.000-06:00

I ate way too much today. Rob, Kyla, and I went to lunch at Wendy's. This meant that I still had my bag lunch that I brought from home. I would eat this on the bus ride home, after the pizza at the GSJS AGM, and before the pasta I ate when I got home. I feel like such a glutton.

None of my articles ran this week, but, Dave said that my "spelling" article will probably be modified and run as a Burlap Sack. The Israel one, obviously, wasn't going to run this week because I didn't submit it until after today's paper was already sent to the printers. However, it will likely run next Thursday (no paper Tuesday, because of Thanksgiving).

this writing gig is tough stuff

2004-10-06T18:53:00.000-06:00

I can't believe I'm considering doing this for a living. I'm referring, of course, to journalism. How on Earth can I be expected to get a job writing for a paper if I can't even come up with ideas to write about? Ok, sure, most of my work would be news reporting. I'd never have a shortage of ideas there -- whatever assignment I'm given, I write on (speaking of which, I really do need to start doing some news for the Gateway).

The problem is with opinion writing. Ideally (though unrealistically), I'd like to have a regular column of some sort. Toward that end, I've been trying to force myself to write an article at least once a week -- to get used to writing for a deadline. I have no problem working on deadline. The problem is that, lately, I just can't think of ideas. It's kind of hard to meet a deadline if you don't even have a topic to write on. I did manage to squeeze something out this week -- whether or not it is good enough to run is up to Op Editor -- but it was tough as hell. It's not like I'm lacking information. I read the Journal, as well as several news websites, every day. It's just that none of the info inspires ideas/opinions. Of course, maybe there is nothing to worry about. After all, Misty Harris apparently makes $60,000-70,000 per annum to write about the virtues of thong underwear (no visible panty line or, as she called it, VPL).

all the good ones are taken

2004-10-05T17:46:00.000-06:00

Lately, every single girl I have fallen for has already had a boyfriend. Great Smile, or whatever weak pseudonym I gave her, has a boyfriend too. It was mentioned in conversation today. It's not really a big deal, but dammit, when will I meet a single girl who I'm attracted to? Honestly...

mount st helens

2004-10-04T21:58:00.000-06:00

A tremor shook St. Helens early on Sunday for 25 minutes, prompting scientists to warn of an imminent eruption two days after the volcano roared back to life.

Authorities elevated their alert to the maximum third level over the weekend and diverted flights away from the volcano's area. Visitors were evacuated from an eight kilometre radius around the mountain, including the USGS Johnson Ridge Observatory.

colour is beautiful

2004-10-04T16:07:00.000-06:00

The past few days, I've noticed that there is an ad at University Station[1] that carries the tag line "Colour is Beautiful." The ad is for coloured contact lenses. The thing that bugs me is this: the ad features a black woman with blue contacts. Does this strike anyone else as horribly racist? Sure, "black is beautiful." Anyone how knows me knows that I'm not exactly discriminating when it comes to which women I find attractive. The thing I have a problem with is, more than anything else about this ad, the fact that she has blue lenses.

Any sense of "empowerment" that a "person of colour" might find in this ad is stripped away by reminding you, "Colour is beautiful, but that applies to eyes too. Brown eyes aren't good enough, so you'd better forfeit yourself to standards of beauty that are those of the 'white' world." I mean, after all, it is rare (if not impossible) for a "non-white" person to have blue eyes. Why else, then, would blue eyes be considered beautiful if not for the euro-centric concepts of beauty that are still prevalent in the West today?

I really could turn this into an opinion article and, if I can think of a way to word it properly, I will. But, for now, this is it.

On that note, if anyone has any ideas for articles, I'd be happy to have them.[2]

[1] At the bottom of the second escalator (on the HUB side).
[2] Deadline is tomorrow at 6pm. So, the sooner you can get me an idea, the better.

awesome

2004-10-03T21:18:00.000-06:00

i am drunk

2004-10-03T03:01:00.000-06:00

So, I went to the Gateway "Welcome" party tonight. I had too much to drink. I made a total ass of myself. I hit on Chelsey way too much. Thanks to Ross for informing me that she had a boyfriend. Thanks to her for telling me that he is much bigger and more muscular than me. Thanks to me for not giving a shit and for hitting on her anyway. Thanks to me for insinuating to Chris Boutet that I am a rapist. Thanks for Kyla for cheap drinks so that I could make an ass of myself. Thanks to Ross for informing me that Heather (why did I think she told me her name was Grace the first time?) has a boyfriend before I got too deep into flirting with her. Thanks to Ross, also, for offering me a ride home, even though I didn't take it. Sports Ross, you rule.

Any way, what did I do to Chelsey? I told her I thought she was cute. Then I told her I wanted to make out with her. Then I joked about taking her home. Then, and these last two might be out of order, she told me she is part Irish. I said that was hot. Then, I told her that I should at least get a kiss so that making an ass of myself would be worth it. I didn't get that kiss.

I will be severly embarassed, come Thursday (or sooner). Fuck...

Yeah...there is more. Thanks to Ross for saving me. Fuck, I'm stupid.

sweatshop on zellers radio?

2004-10-02T16:26:00.000-06:00

At work today, I had a few lines from Kyprios' "Ignorance is Beautiful" stuck in my head. I am in the stockroom, getting a display ready to put out onto the floor when, suddenly, I hear a familiar song. At first I couldn't place it. Then I realized what it was--Sweatshop Union. Sweatshop Union on the Zellers radio? How ironic. At least it would have been. It turns out that it was just some old school funk song that, evidently, they sampled in "On The Sly."

The weird thing is, listening to "On The Sly" now, the song is actually VERY different. Still, the part that they sampled is the main trumpet(?) riff of the other song, and it plays a pretty predominant role in the course of "On The Sly," so I guess it is easy to recognize, despite the difference between the two songs.

Tonight, I'll be heading to the "Welcome (back) to the Gateway" staff party at Scholar's. It should be pretty fun, even though the beer on special is, of all things, Canadian. Blech.

gateway, gateway, and more gateway

2004-09-30T19:56:00.000-06:00

The Gateway seems to have been the item du jour for me today.

1. My little crush used to write Opinion for the Gateway. Apparently, she is sad that she hasn't done it this year, but she wants to. When I get my bound edition, I am going to look for her picture because, I learnt her last name and, with that knowledge, I was able to put the name to a headbox. The weird thing is that the headbox I am imaging looks NOTHING like this girl.

2. Meeting and shit...good as usual.

3. Beer, as usual. But, I realized something. I assume it is because, by the time 5pm roles around, my stomach is empty, but I feel the effects of two beers in RATT after an Opinion meeting far more than the effects of six rum and coke's at Halo on a Friday night. Weird.

4. As promised, here is my article.

i have a crush (again)

2004-09-29T09:06:00.000-06:00

There is the this girl in my writing class--Super Smile--who I've developed a bit of a crush on. She was in my workshop group and, after reading my piece, said, "I have scoliosis too!" Her's isn't/wasn't as serious as mine. Namely, she never had to have surgery.

That little "connection" made me realize, suddenly, that, "Hey! This girl is pretty damn cute." She has the prettiest face: amazing smile, beautiful eyes, a cute nose (she actually makes that diamond stud look good!), and nice cute cheeks. She's incredibly sexy--and I haven't even given her the "once over" glance thing. I'm basing all of this on her gorgeous face, and on what little I know of her personality (plus, you know, that whole coincidental scoliosis connection). It's pretty neat. I don't know if I'll act on it, but it's pretty cool.

life goes on as usual

2004-09-28T19:56:00.000-06:00

Found this yesterday on die puny humans. I wrote an opinion article based on it. It should appear in Thursday's Gateway, so I'll link to it then.

I'm probably going to go with Kyla and Allan to see A Doll's House tomorrow. It's playing on campus (I think). Kyla has to go for one of her classes, and my Intro to Drama class might be going to it as well (though, they'll be going on Saturday). Even if the play sucks, Ky and Al are always fun, so it should be good.

Kerri's brother is talking to me on MSN right now. Apparently, she isn't home and, due to a number of circumstances that I'm not going to bother going into, he's pretty worried. He's starting to get me worried, though I suspect she has just gone out with some friends or something.

What else? I have a cold. It sucks. My mom brought it into the house--occupational hazard of working in an elementary school, I guess.

Yeah, I really have nothing to say. That's it for now.

perhaps i'll try the one with the perky cleavage in my enligh class next

2004-09-27T01:13:00.000-06:00

Well, the Wild Child saga of my life is over. I sent a second email--whether that was wise or not, I'm unsure--and she rejected me a second time. Fair enough. I'll dusty myself and move along.

There is still Hot Latina, from my writing class; the girl in the title of this post, from my Brit Lit class; and the other girl from said class, despite the fact that she is actually a year or two older than me. Yes, I am movin' on like the scum that I am. JOY!

something fun, for a change

2004-09-26T23:15:00.000-06:00

You Are Most Like Charlotte!

You are the ultimate romantic idealist

You've been hurt before, but that hasn't caused you to give up on love.

If anything, your resolve to fall in love is stronger than ever.

And it's this feminine optimism that men find most appealing about you.

Romantic prediction: That guy you are seeing (or crushing on)?

Could be very serious - if you play your cards right!

Which Sex and the City Vixen Are You Most Like?
Take This Quiz Right Now!

Find the Love of Your Life
(and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.

my heart is dissolving in stomach acid

2004-09-26T14:50:00.000-06:00

Ok, I'm being melodramatic. I'm not really that upset, but I am, nonetheless, disappointed. I got an email from Wild Child today. As per Kyla's warning, I got shut down. You see, WC has a boyfriend. I knew that last night, but I acted as though I didn't because: 1. I had not been told by WC herself, only by Kyla; 2. I figured that, if I played my cards right, it might not matter.

Today, however, I got an email saying, essentially: "I've got a boyfriend, so I'm going to have to turn down your offer of coffee."

Now, my better judgment tells me that I should bow out gracefully and let it be. The liar with a pen part of me (that's the "hopeless romantic poet" part of me), however, says that "better judgment" is for people who never get what they want. You know: "You could dream a little dream, or you could live a little dream..." Of course, Kyla indicated to me, last night, that I should pursue WC even if she rejects me (as she did). She told me something along the lines of, "If she rejects you, you might want to let her know some of the things you've said on your blog. I bet, if you did that, she'd dump the other guy in a second."

Of course, there is the whole issue of "the Code." I know that, if I were the other guy, I wouldn't be too happy to know that there was someone trying to "steal my girl." I mean, even if I was confident in our relationship and I knew that the other guy had no chance whatsoever, I'd still be a bit jealous. So, to those who don't "get" the Code, it's not really an issue of "honour" or some shit (though, to a certain extent, it is), it's more an issue of empathy for your fellow man. It's sensitivity masked as masculinity.

Any way, I guess that's all there is to say for now. I'll be sure to update when I figure out what to do next.

Oh, one last thing. The worst part about the rejection email was that, because of the way she wrote it, I found myself even more enamored by her charm and wit!

talk with the tiger

2004-09-26T01:12:00.000-06:00

I finally talked to Wild Child tonight. It was over MSN, and not in person, but still, it counts for something. Things, I think, went as well as possible, given the wall the digital media tends to create.

It was, I'll admit, mildly awkward. I wasn't on the ball (attractive women make me nervous) and, something something something just slipped my mind. I think I managed to be witty from time to time. I got the occasional, "lol," which probably weren't real laughs, but close enough, I suppose. I charmed the tiger into a kitten--even though, in reality, that was because Kyla, who was talking to her at the same time, said something along the lines of, "Change your picture! That tiger is going to scare the crap out of me!" She then became a demure little kitty. Sexy.

In other news, I'm getting my write on. Phil and I have finally hooked up to work on Patchwork some more. At the moment. I'm writing about a dude and a stripper named Melissa de Meow. "'Hot shit,' says Eddie, and I give him a detention--on the spot."

I should be sleeping, what with cold I've come down with from lack of sleep, but: Art takes precedence over bodily health. Art is life. Without art, the soul dies and the body is empty. Art over body. I am hot.

le sigh two

2004-09-25T22:07:00.000-06:00

Sigh!

In a way, I like the feeling of le sigh. It is a good feeling, if somewhat bothersome. I mean, sometimes, the feeling can be better than the "relationship" that results. Like, if the person drawing the sighs out of you turns out to be a bitch once you get to know him/her. On the other hand, the actual relationship can be great.

If I'm lucky, such will be the case with Wild Child--assuming it happens at all.

Le Sigh!

le sigh

2004-09-25T02:48:00.000-06:00

Sigh!

My email inbox is empty. She's online but away. Sigh!

Tonight was a great fun night at Halo with Kyla, Rob, and Allan (as well as a bunch of people from work). Unfortunately, my decision to come online and see if Cutie might have replied to my email has caused me to sit here sighing and feeling like an unrequited lover. It's so silly, to feel this way about a girl based on perhaps two minutes of seeing her (less, really, since I was all shy and tried not to look at her) and hearing her speak (and, incidentally, seeing her today but running away because it would have been to awkward to talk to her). Bah! I'm some kind of hopeless romantic (or loser)...I dunno.

Sigh!

l*** at first site?

2004-09-24T21:51:00.000-06:00

I've been thinking about Cute Girl (hey, if you've got a better pseudonym, I'd be glad to hear it) all day. I can't get her out of my head. It's weird, because usually when you have a crush on someone, you've at least talked to them before.

I'm certainly not going to jump the gun and call it love at first site, because how the hell do I know? I will certainly say, however, that it is "really strong like" at first sight. Lust? Yes, but it's more than that. Honestly, it really is more than that. I'm not attracted in the sense of, "I bet she'd be a good fuck." I'm attracted in the sense of, "Damn, she seems really awesome and I want to get to know her." If she happens to be a good fuck as well, that's just a bonus. No, honestly! I'm not lying, sex is not the primary motivator here, despite how much of a horn dog I've been lately.

I feel good. This feeling is great. I am like a school girl. GIGGLE GIGGLE.

surprisingly taken

2004-09-23T22:17:00.000-06:00

Today, just as I was about to go to my writing class, a friend of Kyla's wanders over to say hi to Kyla. I thought she was cute. Then, she started talking and I found myself quite taken with her. I immediately asked Kyla to hook me up. I think she is going to help me out.

Obviously, I really don't know shit about this girl, but I was quite taken with her. She's cute (and a red head!), an artist...yeah, that's really all I know about her.

EDIT: I also know her name but, in accordance with my new privacy policy, only people who I know actually read this blog get mentioned by name since they are the only ones who can actively defend themselves from any libel I may write.

EDIT 2: Apparently, she is not a red head. What the hell is wrong with my memory? Was she "strawberry blonde?" I don't know. Weird...whatever. She is still cute.

canadian idiot

2004-09-22T21:35:00.000-06:00

Today was eventful. The events weren't huge, but they were events. I went to the Edmonton Archives for my English 407: Writing Edmonton/Edmonton Writing class. I had to check it out and then write a report on how it presents history. I'm not going to go into it too much here, because I don't want to rewrite the report, but, basically, I talked about how the archives largely ignore the lived experience of history. Not entirely, there are some pictures which do capture that lived experience but, for the most part, it seemed to be all about numbers.

I didn't end up getting the shoes I wanted to get today. They didn't have my size and I didn't feel like going to Londonderry just for a pair of shoes. Kingsway was in my way, so I didn't mind. But I didn't want to haul my ass over to Kingsway. I did, however, get the new Green Day CD for the low low price of $9.99 (I love having a staff discount). It is a damn good CD. It is, I think, Green Day's best work ever. Musically, it's pretty much the same bit they've always done. It's move back to their older sound (i.e.: they stripped away some of the layer they tried to add--with questionable success--on Warning). Lyrically, however, they've progressed a lot. The poetry is still fairly basic, everyday language. And it still talks about ordinary issues, but there is something about this album that really strikes me. I can't tell quite what it is. Maybe I'll be able to identify it better after a few listens.

dumbest quiz in the world

2004-09-21T19:00:00.000-06:00

Get to know the REAL you by crash_and_burn
Your Name
You Are A:	Country lover
Your Favorite Band/Song	Birthday Massacre - Over
You Like To Read:	Anything political
You Firmly Believe In:	Love at first sight
Everyone Thinks You Are:	A sleazy prostitute
You Were Conceived:	Underwater
You Will Marry:	The kid next door

Quiz created with MemeGen!

There is some error in the code. I can't find it. The links, as a result, will not work properly.

i am so hip, it's tragic

2004-09-21T18:22:00.000-06:00

I got Tragically Hip tickets! Scott got a pre-sale password. Scott, Kyla, and I are going to the Hip show. I don't care if you think they are not cool. They are. It will rule. Fuck...I'm so excited. I mean, sure, the concert isn't until November 17, but still. I'm so excited.

shake ya ass!

2004-09-18T17:28:00.000-06:00

Last night, Kyla, Rob and I capped off what was a rather excellent week for all of us with a trip to the Roost to shake our collective booty. Despite it being more than a little dead, we all had a great time and danced our little hearts out--even when, as we frequently were, we were the only ones on the dance floor.

Rob was a regular dancing queen, busting moves like an expert. Among the bizarre sign language of Rob and Kyla was a battle of the breasts--each ruffling their feathers larger than the other in an attempt to show who was the cock of the walk (a.k.a.: failed attempt at making a witty reference to the name of the bar). Despite the weird chemistry those two exhibited during our two hours at the bar, I managed to get my share of the action, grinding away on both of them. And, by both of them, I mean Rob.

After that, we headed to Denny's for some greasy goodness.

All in all, a great night to end a great week (despite the fact that, as a result, I ended up only getting four hours sleep before having to drag my ass to work for 8:30 this morning).

i'm totally going to cheat

2004-09-16T22:12:00.000-06:00

Ok, I give up. I hate all this reading. I'm just not in the mood to read today so I'm going to find some "Cole's Notes" for Howards End (maybe Spark Notes has something) and write my daily writing thingy based on that. I do intend to actually read the rest of the novel at some point on the weekend, but I'm just not doing it tonight.

In other news, I have nothing to say. It was kind of neat to watch the rain/hail storm from up in RATT today.

Also, diuretics seem to effect me more than the average person. The fact that I seem to have an unusually small bladder probably doesn't help matters too much.

My writing class is good, so far, except for this one really obnoxious SOB. It was, however, mildly amusing to see Jake (Troughton) looking like he was about to explode at any minute because the guy was irritating him so much. Despite any humour, I totally understand how Jake was feeling. I was feeling the same way, really, I just wasn't expressing it as visually as Jake was (even though he was trying not to show it). I'm really starting to hate that guy (Mr. Obnoxious, not Jake).

almost all caught up

2004-09-15T22:19:00.000-06:00

I just finished reading A Tourist's Guide to Glengarry by Ian McGillis. It's a great novel. It was interesting to read about landmarks right in my own community (Glengarry is right near Northmount, just across 137 Ave), like Northgate mall and Father Leo Green school. Additionally, it was a really fun read. I read the enture thing today. It took seven hours, but I read it all and I'm glad I did.

Having completed that novel, I'm almost caught up for the week. In fact, I'm pretty sure that I'll be able to finish all my readings for the week. I have a bit of reading for my WRITE class. I'll do that tomorrow on the train and, if need be, during lunch. Then, I'll read the rest of the novel that I have to read for Friday. It'll be a long night, but I'll get it done. Finally, I have about 10 or 20 pages left of the play to read. That'll get done on the train to school on Friday morning. Finally, after packing it all in as tightly as possible, I'll try to use the weekend to get ahead in my readings though, to be honest, I doubt that it'll happen.

i'm in the wrong program

2004-09-14T23:40:00.000-06:00

I'm beginning to realize just how much reading is involved in getting degree in English/Comparative Literature. Having managed to coast along for the first three years of my university career, I never realized the true extent of my work load. This year, for a variety of reasons, I find myself having to actually do the assigned readings. It's hell.

Don't get me wrong, I love reading. I wouldn't be an English nerd if I didn't. But, the sheer volume that is expected of me in a relatively compact period of time is really quite unreasonable. Is it really fair to expect a student to read three novels a week? Because, given my course load, that's what my reading schedule will be some weeks. Add to that the amount of writing required, especially since I'm taking a WRITE course, and you can imagine how much I'm hurting right now. Hell, it's only week two of term one and I'm already feeling weighed down.

I did about three or four hours of reading today. I thought I was all caught up (though, just barely) until I realized that I still have an 80 page play to read for tomorrow. Unfortunately, after doing three or four hours of study (i.e.: the reading I mentioned at the beginning of the paragraph), I'm really not in the mood for more. Besides, can my mind really pack that much in in a single day? Probably...but throw me a bone here!

I have an eighty page play to read for tomorrow (which I probably won't do), an entire novel to read for Thursday (I'll get at least half of that done, hopefully all of it), and the last 100 odd pages of a novel for Friday. Yeah...I'm fucked. Hopefully, I will be able to use the weekend to catch up and get ahead so that the coming weeks will be a bit easier.

Add to this all of the "extra-curricular" activities I like to pursue--namely, the Gateway and hanging out with friends--and you can see why students sometimes stress out and kill themselves. Not that I'm contemplating suicide in any way, I'm just saying that I can sympathize--at least a bit.

Any way, I just wanted to rant about my heavy workload. Feel free to bitch me out and say how much worse yours is. I'm sure I've got a relatively light load compared to some people.

i shall endeavour to dream no more

2004-09-13T23:48:00.000-06:00

I've been listening to Labor Days by Aesop Rock a lot since I bought it on Saturday. It's really an incredible album. The track that stands out the most, to me, is the incredible "No Regrets." The lyrics are amazing. I don't know what else to say. It's amazing. It is one of those gems that come along all too rarely. I've uploaded an mp3 of it for you to download. Even if you don't like hip-hop, I suspect you'll have a hard time speaking ill of the lyrical content.

a good wife

2004-09-13T09:10:00.000-06:00

Sexism is delightful. It allows men to be in command, and women to be their servants. It is a wonderful thing. Oh yes, sexism is indeed a great and wonderful thing. Seriously though, this is hilariously fucked up. The best part is that, most likely, it was written by a woman. It was the women who propagated their own subjugation. I love it (for the irony).

awe struck

2004-09-12T20:30:00.000-06:00

Buck 65 killed the Dinwoodie. It was incredible, as I predicted. I'm awe struck. He's such an incredible performer. I just don't know what to say. In-fucking-credible.

wake up and smell the...soap?

2004-09-11T17:43:00.000-06:00

Need a boost and don't want to wait for your coffee to brew? Well, now you can wake up by bathing yourself with caffeinated soap.

Also, let's write an incredibly short story. Seems like a fun idea. Unfortunately, the "1974" requirement has got me stuck, so I doubt I'll be able to pull this off. Oh well.

Buck 65 is muy soon. 'Twill be excellent.

permanent hearing damage

2004-09-10T23:20:00.000-06:00

My ears are still ringing from last night's excellent Sloan concert. I love it. I ended up getting home at around 2am because I had to walk from Clareview. There is usually a cab waiting in the parking lot at the train station after the last train of the night in the hopes of picking up someone needing a cab to get the rest of the way home. Last night, there was not. I started walking home, figuring I'd be able to catch a cab somewhere farther up 137 Ave. No such luck. It's probably for the best though, it was a nice walk (except the part where the grass was so wet that my shoes got soaked through) and I still managed to get a relatively decent amount of sleep, so I really can't complain.

Tomorrow, it is time for Buck 65. It will be some awesome. Though, to be honest, I sort of think that the Powerplant is a better venue than the Dinwoodie for a Buck 65 show. Oh well, it'll still rule.

My article for the Gateway about the AIDSgame is going to have an illustration. I find that very cool. I'm supposed to let the illustrator know if I have any ideas, but I have none. Hopefully he can come up with something good. OpEditor's idea of a chess board with the word "AIDS" written on it is a pretty good idea so, if nothing else, that will suffice. I'm looking forward to seeing what Mr. Illustrator will come up with.

school daze

2004-09-09T09:07:00.000-06:00

It's that time of year again. Time to re-enter the hallowed halls of the University and get my learn on. Yesterday was day one of a new semester. Classes went by relatively smoothly. My Early 20th Century British Literature course looks like it might be a bit of a pain in the ass. Not because it is difficult, per se, but rather because the prof has some mildly odd expectations that could severely inconvenience me come October/November when my work load starts to pile up (especially November, what with Nano and all).

After classes, Kyla, Allan and I headed over to Scholar's for a couple pints and then to Remedy for coffee. Twas a great time. Our true geekdom was revealed when we were the only people in Scholar's talking about politics and the Discovery Channel instead of watching the Canada vs Slovakia World Cup of Hockey game.

Today, I suspect, will be even better. I've got what I'm guessing will be my two favourite classes--Cultures and Texts: Edmonton, and Intro to Writing Non-Fiction--followed by the Opinion and A&E meetings for the Gateway. To top it all off, I'll be going to the Sloan concert with Kyla. Sounds like the recipe for a great day to me.

general updates

2004-09-07T09:41:00.000-06:00

It's the last day before classes start up for a new semester. I'm awake early and I feel great. Somehow, I doubt I'll be able to say the same thing tomorrow. I can never wake up early when I need to. Oh well.

I was surfing for images to post on a forum I go to and one of them was linked to a blog. On said blog, I found this image. I love graffiti art and I thought that this little piece of free speech was particularly nice--both aesthetically and politically. I'd "Hello!" it, but that would require saving it to disk and I'm too lazy to do the extra click or two that would be required by that action. Oddly, I'm not too lazy to write several dozen words about being too lazy to click the mouse a few times.

Kyla and Allan are coming over today. Unfortunately, I have no idea what the plan is. Originally, it was simple: Allan and Kyla come over and we watch Pushing Tin. However, I received an email about getting headshots done today or tomorrow and figured that it wouldn't hurt to ask Kyla if she maybe wanted to go get that out of the way today instead of waiting until after class tomorrow. She said, "Yes." The problem is that this was all done over email. There was a phone call in between, but somehow we managed not to touch on the subject. Now, I'm not sure whether we are going to get photos before Allan comes over, or if he is going to come along with us. I suppose I'll find out in an hour or two.

And now, for some music. I highly recommend K-os' new album Joyful Rebellion. It's socially conscious, funky as hell, and alternately laid back and high energy.

Finally, here is some news to read:

- POLICE UNDER SCRUTINY ON EDMONTON'S WHYTE AVE.
- CANADA'S SEX TOURISM LAW FACES FIRST TEST

AIDS is fun?

2004-09-06T11:22:00.000-06:00

I found this today. It is the AIDS game, and it tells you what you odds of contracting HIV are based on the sexual history of you and your current partner. It's semi-educational, I suppose, but mostly it's just misleading. For example, I took the quiz based on my last relationship and, according to this, I can have sex 125,333 times before becoming infected with HIV (assuming that that sex was with my ex and that she was not having sex with anyone but me). The site does acknowledge that what this really means is that my odds of contracting HIV are 1 in 125,333 (per sexual encounter) and are far better than the odds of winning the lottery and--hey!--use a condom, but I find it to be very misleading. This is the sort of site that teenagers will stumble upon, feel mildly uncomfortable about and, as a result of that discomfort, turn it into a big joke to send to all their friends. In the spirit of "this is just a game and, therefore, a joke" all these kids will be misled into thinking, "Hey! I can have sex half a million times before getting HIV! That sounds pretty safe to me. I mean, hell, I'm not likely to have that much sex before I'm married anyway and we all know that, once I'm married, my chances of contracting HIV or any other STIs are absolutely none!"

I understand that the idea behind the "game" is to create awareness, but I don't know how effective it is likely to be. As I've already stated, it seems more likely to mislead people--especially young North American teens who are too often denied decent sex-ed classes--about the danger of HIV/AIDS. I'd much rather see kids visiting a site like Project Inform, and get real information, rather than playing a misleading game that can be easily read as license to have unprotected sex. Then again, maybe it's just me.

my pet baby

2004-09-05T19:53:00.000-06:00

Have you ever noticed how similar babies are to dogs? Both are creatures of relatively high intelligence, but neither one is self-aware. Both of them like to chew on things. Even the toys we create for them are the same--rubberized, squeaky, chew toys.

I'm not really going anywhere with this. I'm sure I could follow this train of thought and come up with something hilarious, but I've really got nothing right now.

some fine reading

2004-09-05T14:46:00.000-06:00

I've been surfing the web today, looking for interesting things to read, and I've actually managed to succeed. I figured that I'd share what I found since, if it's interesting to me, you might find it interesting as well. The first is an essay by Paul Graham about why nerds are unpopular. The second I found at kottke.org and is about the racism and loss of civil liberties in post-9/11 America. It can be found here. I suspect I'll find another essay or two that will be worthy of sharing, so I'll probably edit this post in an hour or two. If not, have fun reading what I've already posted.

pseudo-evil

2004-09-04T23:41:00.000-06:00

Well, my post got eaten. I'm going to do the Allan philosophy and not rewrite it. I will, however, say that I have an awesome new shirt that will make it's debut on Wednesday (first day of school and all).

I'm looking forward to the start of school. I'm looking forward to getting my headshot taken for a new publishing season of the Gateway. I'm looking forward to beers on Whyte (or Scholars, we've ruled out campus as being too crowded) with Allan, Kyla, and whoever else might tag along. I'm looking forward to autumn. I love the fall. I'm looking forward to wearing my U of A hoodie (beaten and mildly shrunken as it is). I'm looking forward to being an academic again. I'm looking forward to being a part of the collegiate. I'm looking forward to a lot. This post should have been called, "I'm looking forward," but I'm leaving the old title because it is cool and is a subtle reminder of the post that never was.

I guess that's about all that I have to say, except that you should all check out the diary of a sleep deprived person. This guy is going as long as he can without sleep, and documenting the experience on a livejournal. I predict awesomeness (unless he goes insane and thinks that the internet it out to get him).

alas, there were no glass slippers

2004-09-04T01:44:00.000-06:00

I'm sure you've all been dying to know how the date went. Well, you can stop hitting refresh now. So, how did it go? It went okay. That's really the best way to phrase it. While we got along amazingly well, I felt no spark. There was really no romantic interest for me once we got to talking in person. Part of the reason, I'll admit, is because I wasn't really attracted to her physically. It's not as if she was bad looking--quite the opposite--I just didn't have any inklings of lustiness. The rest, I can't quite place. I mean, we got along smashingly, but there was just no love connection. I don't know why. I suppose we'll make great friends, but I really don't see anything beyond that coming from this.

That's really all there is to say. However, I'll say this one thing...just because I feel that I need to get it out. She sent me some pictures over MSN yesterday and the day before. She looked good. But, oddly enough, the pictures (shoulders up only) gave me a totally different impression of what her body would look like compared to what it really did look like. This isn't good or bad, but it's interesting what kind of "lies" photos can tell. Neat.

at midnight, i turn into a pumpkin...

2004-09-03T13:52:00.000-06:00

Tonight is the big night. I've got my outfit all lined up for the date, which means that I'm less nervous and now only have one thing to worry about. That thing, of course, is the first kiss.

I'm not at all worried about whether or not the date, as a whole, will go well. I'm fairly certain that it will. No, I'm worried about the first kiss. I've only had a very few first kisses in my life, and I really only remember one of them. The way that went down, of course, won't work in tonight's situation (in case you're wondering, the kiss I refer to went something like this, "So, tonight was a date, and that means I have to give you a goodnight kiss." It sounds dumb, but it was the easiest way to make my move since, apparently, Kerri wasn't sure if our first date was an actual date, or just me trying to be friends with her). It's not like I'm dreading the kiss, or planning the perfect way to go about it, or some other equally neurotic thing. I'm just worried that I'll miss my moment or something like that. The doorstep kiss is the easiest kiss but, since we are both bus bums, that probably won't happen. Though, if things go well, we'll be cabbing it home, in which case, I'll be a gentleman and share a cab with her even though she is going in the opposite direction I'll be going in at the end of the night (unless, of course, things go really well).

Bah, whatever. I guess there is really no point stressing over this. It'll happen how it happens, when it happens, if it happens (but it will, because this date is not going to bomb *knock-on-wood*).

a series of random thoughts (aka: too lazy to write a real post)

2004-09-02T22:38:00.000-06:00

1. I'm actually kind of nervous about my date tomorrow. At the same time, I feel really good about it. Ms. J and I have been talking online quite a bit lately and we're really getting along great. I know real life is different, but I don't think that things will change a lot. We've got this great banter and a lot in common. A face-to-face meeting can only enhance that (in theory, at least).

2. For some reason, possibly inspired by the opinion peice I'm working on for the Gateway (top secret, you don't get to read it until it is in the paper), I started thinking about the other night at Humpty's. When Allan and Ben were getting frisky, Kyla said something like, "Cut it out before we get beat up by rednecks." At the time, I didn't really think about it. However, having thought about it (for some reason), I've decided that I'd kick the ass of anyone who tried to start shit over something as harmless as two men kissing. Of course, by "kick the ass of anyone..." I mean: "try to kick the ass and end up getting my own ass kicked instead." Fight for what's right...

3. I don't know if #2 sounded like it was supposed to. I have this feeling that it made me sound like I'm trying too hard or something. Maybe I am?

4. I have never had as much trouble writing an opinion piece as I am with this one. It's all done and ready to go, I just can't figure out the closing paragraph. It's been three days now.

5. Not having a headbox photo makes me sad, but it'll get sorted out on Wednesday.

6. I feel a lot more comfortable in the Gateway offices than I used to. In the past, it was like, "couches only...I dare not venture into the corral!" Now, it's like, "I'll wander over to the desks and talk to Jake. I intend to hangout up there and make everyone hate me a lot this year--maybe I'll even do some work.

7. I want to draw a comic, but I don't think I have the talent.

8. I am bored.

a little good karma balances all the bad

2004-08-31T09:09:00.000-06:00

"A groan of tedium escapes from me..."

- Maynard James Keenan (of Tool), "The Patient"

At work yesterday, I was assigned to be a "scanner." Essentially, I spent eight hours scanning shelf tags to see if items needed to be ordered and then sticking little blue tags onto all the items I tagged to identify whether they were On Hand, In Transit, or On Order. Additionally, I'd order anything that needed to be ordered and stick a tag identifying that I had done so on the shelf tag. It was the most tedious thing I have ever done in my entire life. I can't believe that there are people who do this job five days a week for years and years--possibly for their entire adult lives.

To top it all off, I had to clean up a broken jar of jam. I ended up cutting myself but, having felt no pain, I had initially thought that the blood on my hand was merely strawberry jam.

"Let's go to RATT!"

- various Gateway editors

I went to the Gateway offices yesterday to get my headshot done. Knowing that it was press night, I assumed that everyone would be in the office all night. Instead, I show up when everyone has apparently headed up to RATT for beers. Having previous engagments, I left for Cafe Dabar on Whyte for my writer's group.

On that note, my short story, "Freeing Fluffy," went over surprisingly well. I was happy to hear essentially no negative comments. There were a few points of criticism, and I'll try to work with them prior to submitting it for publication. This, in case you are wondering, is the one bit of good karma that balanced it all out.

But wait! There's more! I've got a date on Friday! That, perhaps, is just as good as having a group of relative strangers approve of my writing. Ms. Enigma and I are going to BPs in Millwoods to eat, drink, and hopefully be merry. Good times, I hope.

good friends, good movies, not so good food, good sex, good times

2004-08-29T01:24:00.000-06:00

I'm not in the mood to say a lot, but I am an eager beaver as far as Gateway stuff goes, so I had to log on and see if Dave emailed me back about the headshot thing. Since I'm on, I figure I might as well say a few things about tonight's adventure (I'll probably give more details tomorrow morning before I run off to work--again).

1. The Stepford Wives is a great movie, despite the negative reviews it garnered from certain co-workers whose taste in movies is usually similar to mine. Go see it. One of the few performances by Nicole Kidman that I didn't hate.

2. Humpty's sucks. It's awesome to hangout and chat with friends, and the Humpty's environment is more suited to this than Tim Horton's is, but the food is crap. Plus, no one shared my nachos and I felt sad as a result. I DO NOT HAVE COOTIES!

3. Porn stores are funny. They are also boring as hell. Source Adult Video is the most sterile place I've ever been in. Those little "love boutique" places are so much more vibrant and fun--even though the employees are sometimes a tad too helpful.

4. Good times were had by all. Some of us will be continuing to have a good time all night long. Sadly, I am not referring to myself (would I really be online right now if I was?).

signs of affection

2004-08-28T09:32:00.000-06:00

hand holding - you like to be in constant physical
contact with your special someone but you don't
want to take things too quickly.

What Sign of Affection Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

In a way, this is true. At the same time, it's damn ironic given my sexual history.

the online daters clicked (wit!)

2004-08-27T22:41:00.000-06:00

Sadly, I'm spending my Friday night on the computer. Interestingly, I've been having a lot of great conversation. First, with Squeaks: talking music and whatnot. Then, with this new girl from Lavalife. We are so in synch it's scary. I totally have to meet her in person. Finally, Westjet came online and we chatted about school a bit--still are, technically.

Mostly, I just wanted to talk about that girl. I'm too lazy to go into detail at the moment, but we've really hit it off and seem to have nearly everything in common except for our taste in music. But, I've never dated someone with the same taste in music as me before, so it's not something I can't handle. I'll give you details another time.

it is done

2004-08-27T13:30:00.000-06:00

Well, I did it. I finalized my schedule. I ended up swapping my William Blake course for a C. Lit course entitled "Introduction to Drama." As bad ass as the William Blake course would have been, I'm not too upset about the trade off. I've never taken a course that studied drama as literature (other than Shakespeare) before, so it should be interesting. I'm looking forward to it.

And now, for some lunch and a few rounds of 007: Nightfire with my brother.

requirements make me sad

2004-08-27T12:56:00.000-06:00

So, it turns out that I misread the Calendar just a tad. I don't just need a minimum of 12 credits for my minor. I need a minimum of 12 credits at the senior level. This, unfortunately, means that I am one course short of the requirements. I am now in the process of trying to find a course to meet this requirement. It's surprisingly difficult to fit any of the available senior level C. Lit courses into my schedule without fucking up something that I really don't want to give up. The more I look at it, the more it looks like I only have two options: 1. Drop my WRITE course (ain't gonna happen), or 2. Take a night course (don't want it to happen, but I guess it might have to). Whatever happens, I'm sure I'll get things all straightened away.

On a related note, I'm so glad that my program is based on the 2001/2002 Calendar and not the current Calendar. I'm not talking about my minor--that hasn't changed--but rather my major. The requirements for an English major, according to the 2001/2002 Calendar are simply: a minimum of 30 credits (maximum of 48) at the senior level, 6 of which must be at the 400-level; and 12 credits must be in English before 1800. I have all of these things (or, rather, I will at the end of this year). The 2004/2005 Calendar is insane. It requires all of the above plus other specifics such as, 6 credits in at least two of the following areas: American Lit, Canadian Lit, Aboriginal Lit, Postcolonial Lit, 3 of which must be from Canadian Lit. There are a lot of other similar sub-categories and I'm glad I don't have to deal with all that hassle. Based on the Calendar I am based on, things are so much simpler and allow a lot more freedom for the student to explore different types of literature without worrying too much about meeting requirements. Any way...back to figuring out this C. Lit thing.

character assassin

2004-08-26T19:32:00.000-06:00

Squeaks is trying to rent a laptop from Easy Home. He totally doesn't need it, in my opinion, but whatever. He wants it and he has shitty credit so he can't buy one from Future Shop (good prices at the moment, but I'm not getting into a 24 month contract, thanks). Instead, he must go to Easy Home because, apparently, they don't care about your credit. Personally, I think he's an idiot for wanting to be $100 a month to rent something that he will never own (unless there is an option to buy out the lease, but still, $100 a month?). But, it's not really my place to criticize, so I don't. Getting to the point, he listed me as a reference.

The girl from Easy Home has called twice to ask me about it, but I wasn't home and my hours at work mean I haven't been able to call her back. I'll have to try and remember to do it tomorrow. Here is my dilemma: I don't want to fuck Squeaks over, but I also don't want to lie. I think I've decided that if the truth means he doesn't get the computer, it is for the best since it will prevent him from getting signed to a contract he can't afford. So, in essence, as long as I tell the truth, I'll be doing the opposite of fucking him over. Still, I feel bad that I might have to say that I like my friend is a credit risk. Oh well...

In other news, I, like our friend Thomas, have five more Gmail invites to give away. I have no idea who still needs one, so leave a comment if you want one and I'll probably give it to you.

I think that's about it, except that I have a meeting tomorrow with Dr. Margolin at 11:00 am. Hopefully, I'm all set and won't have to try and fuck around with my schedule yet again to add in a 400-level C. Lit course.

that was...interesting...

2004-08-26T00:35:00.000-06:00

So, I'm on MSN talking to this girl that I thought was one person but turned out to be a totally different person. She's flirting with me. She asks, "What are you into?" I assume she's asking about interests and hobbies and shit. I make a joke about "Hot wild se--music." Moments later, she sends me a nude picture and I realize that my joke didn't have to be a joke.

Remember that whole "Intimate Encounters" thing? Apparently, I added the 32 year old to my MSN (though, I don't recall doing it). So, I'm talking to her, totally thinking she is some 19 year old girl who might want to get together for coffee. Nope, turns out she is a crazy cougar with nipple piercings and no body hair. Wild.

I'm totally not going to through with this shit--am I?--but it's fucking entertaining. Am I a bad person?

damn "requirements"

2004-08-25T17:02:00.000-06:00

I had to drop a course that I really wanted to take, "The Literary System," in order to fit a course that will fulfill the last of my required courses (i.e.: SCAND 353, to finish my Fine Arts component). It was heartbreaking.

In related news, my problem with C. Lit is almost settled. The guy finally got back to me about it. Apparently, the information is in the calendar (why the hell didn't I think of that?) and the website is just wrong. So, I checked the calendar and it seems that my minor is complete. Dr. Margolin, the C. Lit guy, wants to meet with me to set things up. However, I can't meet on the day that he wants to. No worries though, since it appears that I've met all the requirements, I just sent an email asking him to confirm whether or not I had. This way, if I have completed them, we don't need to worry about trying to find time for a meeting. If I haven't then we'll be trying to setup a meeting for this Friday. All in all, the situation is nearly over and, in retrospect, quite hilarious since it turns out to have been nothing more than the result of me not thinking to look in the calendar.

further thrift store adventures

2004-08-24T23:08:00.000-06:00

I went to the VV today and picked up some things. I got another blazer--classy as hell, though the damn thing is fitting tighter than I thought it did. I always seem to find something awesome and, in the excitement of a great find, I don't notice that it doesn't fit as well as it should until I get it home. Oh well, I still like it. I'm keeping it. I also picked up the incredible movie Dead Poets Society on VHS for the incredible price of $5.99 (which, considering the price of VHS tapes these days, probably isn't all that incredible, but whatever).

I can't wait for school to start. I'm getting really sick of the working life. I need intellectual stimulation.

Here is the plan for school. First day of classes, we (and you damn well know who "we" is...more on this in a moment) are going to go for beers after we are all done classes. I'm debating whether RATT or the Plant is better...we'll decide in two weeks I suppose.

And now: "we." It's really weird how quickly Kyla and Allan have become my core group of friends. I just met them at the beginning of summer and I now hang out with them more than any of my other friends. I'm not complaining, it's a good thing (as ~~Satan~~ Martha would say), it's just interesting.

Finally, I have this cool idea for an "artist's getaway" sometime this year. There is this tiny old cabin that my Venturer troop used to go to back in the day (yeah, I was that kid...but we were the least nerdy scouts in the world...honest). I'm fairly sure that anyone can rent it, not just Scouts, so I'd love to head up there with a few friends and some art supplies. The rules would be: no computers (if you write, you do it all by hand), no phones, no connection to the outside world for a weekend. Music is allowed since it gets things flowing. The only problem I can foresee is that, to the best of my knowledge, no one has a car or insurance during the fall/winter so we'll have to get a ride up and have no exit in case of emergency. Whatever, I'll think more about it later.

daily dose of goodness

2004-08-23T23:00:00.000-06:00

I've started taking vitamins. For a long time, people have told me that it is good to take a multi-vitamin. For the longest time, I thought it wasn't necessary. A few days ago, however, I decided to buy some One A Day: Men's Formula. I figured, it can't hurt, right? If I see no noticeable change after 3 months (there are 90 pills in a bottle), then I won't bother to buy another bottle. If I do feel healthier, great!

Umm...I've been pretty brain dead lately. Working eight hours of the most mindless drudgery of my life has had an ill effect on my brain. I just can't think. Nothing intellectual occurs up in this skull of mine except the occasional bit of reading from my novel. Most of the time, however, I'm not in the mood for it. Passive entertainment is my friend these days. I can totally relate to the stereotypical white trash working class guy these days. Damn...I really have nothing to say.

shakespeare, blake, tolstoy, and...oprah?

2004-08-19T23:22:00.000-06:00

I saw the strangest thing at work today--Tolstoy's Anna Karenina. This is Zellers, people, we aren't supposed to have great literature. We're supposed to be stocked up with the latest romance novel and Stuff magazine--not Russian greats. Then, I noticed why we were carrying this book--it has been recommended by Oprah's book club. Now, I'm not really sure how I feel about this. I've always been rather ambivalent about Oprah's book club. On the one hand, it gets people reading and tries to expose "writers of colour" to the mainstream (i.e.: White America). On the other hand, it tends to promote mushy, sentimental garbage that will be easily digested by the average Oprah fan (i.e.: a semi-educated house wife). But now, she's recommending classic literature?

I suppose this is a good thing--trying to expose an alliterate and poorly read public to the classics--but somehow it just seems wrong. I don't know what it is. Maybe it's the thought of having something that is considered to be true "art," being sold to the masses as a commodity, but that's been done to Shakespeare a half-thousand times without complaint. I don't know what it is, but I don't like it. However, this really isn't that surprising to me, now that I think about it. I remember hearing in my Literary Theory class last term that Oprah had ended the book club and was starting a new one--something along the lines of "Oprah's Classics." The name alone--if it is, indeed, the actual name--is sickening. Bah!

lift with your legs

2004-08-18T21:19:00.000-06:00

I am an idiot. At work today, I decided to lift some furniture. Well, I didn't really decide so much. It's more like it was required of me as a part of my job. No problem, right? Sure, except that I was stupid and decided to lift with my back. What did I lift--with my back--today? Two patio tables and two...no, three...72" bookcases. It was stupid. I thought nothing of it at the time, but I realize now that this is why my back is hurting. Luckily, the pain is mild and two standard Tylenols have covered it up.

In other news, I really need to get laid. I've become such a depraved pervert lately, it's not even funny. I wasn't this perverted when I was having the regular sex. Hooker time! But seriously, I need to get laid.

homoerotic fringe fest

2004-08-17T20:19:00.000-06:00

"Julian was so hard." These are the first words of As If After Sex, a novel by Joseph Torchia. I picked the book up for $2.00 at the Fringe yesterday. I read the first chapter on the bus ride home, and I really don't know what to say. The entire first chapter was nothing but sex. First, there was the homoerotic scene in the gym where Robert meets Julian. No actual sex happens, but the way Torchia describes Julian working out is pure sex. Then, there is the fucked up encounter Robert has with a seemingly insane cab driver upon his arrival in San Francisco. I don't know what that was all about, but it was violently sexual--though not actual sex happened. Finally, we get to the real sex scene. For some reason, Robert decides the best way to put his past behind him is to fuck a woman. It's a hot scene, but it makes no sense. Robert is gay. Robert knows this. Robert does not deny this. Any heterosexuality he may have "practiced" in his life is a part of his past, a part of Florida, so I don't really understand this scene either.

There is a lot of talk about the process of writing--most of it poorly written--and a lot of hints at themes that run deeper than erotica and romance, but none of it seems to amount to anything. Perhaps, as I get deeper into the book, these things will be more fleshed out and make more sense. But, based upon the first chapter, As If After Sex seems to be nothing more than a homoerotic romance novel. I suppose that is something you don't see very often, so in its own way it's something special; but so far it seems like a half-assed attempt at a novel. If it was just a pulp romance novel, I'd probably have nothing bad to say about it. Pulps, after all, are rarely dishonest about what they are. This novel, however, seems to be trying to be something more than trashy pulp erotica. Because of that, it ends up seeming like a good book poorly written--there are hints that Torchia is trying to raise the bar and go beyond simple sex, but he can't seem to translate his ideas into words. This, so far, is the books greatest weakness. Of course, I've only read one chapter so this really isn't a fair review.

As for the rest of the day at the Fringe, we went and saw Breaking Face, a play about a group of friends and their lives between and including the 2001 Canada Day Riot and the Whyte Ave. Albert's fire. It was pretty good, though I felt that the performers went a bit over the top at points. The comedic bits were handled well, but the more dramatic moments were frequently over-acted and over the top. Despite this, it was a good show and I think all four of us (Allan, Ben, Kyla, and I) enjoyed it.

Speaking of "the four of us," I finally met Ben for the first time. We didn't really talk a whole lot, but he seems like cool guy. He reminded me a lot of this kid Graeme I used to know. This is a good thing, since Graeme was a cool guy and a good (though not particularly close) friend during the time that I knew him.

i am so bored

2004-08-15T23:41:00.000-06:00

I am so bored lately. I truly cannot wait for school to start again. I hate work, I am bored when I'm not at work, and school is fun...or something. Goddammit. Friends, why do you all have to live far away! Kyla is in St. Albert, Spencer has now moved to the West End (speaking of which, I should call his mom and ask her for his new number), Chris has still not moved back home, Scott is in a place that I don't know how to get to, even though it isn't far, and Allan is downtown. Fuck you friends! HAHAHAHAHA!

I should sleep...I'm so fucking tired and it's showing in this post...but it's too damn hot to sleep.

I am an idiot.

kyprios killed the radio star

2004-08-13T11:35:00.000-06:00

Last night, I went to the Kyprios show at the Sidetrack Cafe. It was awesome. I can honestly say, without hyperbole, that it was the best concert I've ever been to. It even beat out Buck 65 at the Powerplant. Of course, the four beers I had probably helped loosen shit up (I was a lot more vocal and "into it" than I usually am at concerts).

The opening act, Curtis Santiago, was fucking insane. One of the best performers I've seen in a long time. His music wasn't particularly great, but he put on such a good show and I ended up buying his mediocre CD as a result. I have yet to listen to the full thing yet, but so far the tracks are more mellow and laid back than the "live versions" he performed last night. Of course, the new material he did (new, as in, not on this CD) was a lot better so I'll be keeping an eye out for that disc when it drops.

Kyprios himself was awesome, as expected. I was up right near the front, getting crazy with everyone. Fun times, fun times. I got my CD booklet from Say Something autographed by Kyp and asked him about his old indie record (i.e.: is it still available anywhere?). He said he no longer has any copies, but he is probably going to re-issue it now that his career is starting to bloom. Hip hop hug, leave the venue, go to Humpty's with Mike and some friends of his that were also at the show (luckily, Alex is something of a mutual acquaintance so I didn't feel too out of the loop). Over all, it was a great night. Kyprios is playing in Edmonton again on September 11 at the University (I'm assuming the venue will be the Powerplant, but it might be the Dinwoodie).

pinup

2004-08-12T09:57:00.000-06:00

She stares at me--
that picture perfect blend of innocence and indulgence.
Tits and ass.
Halfway to an erection and I begin to ponder
that age old question,
"Who is the more exploited?"
If she can do this to me,
with a presence called absence,
invoking chemical reactions across time and space;
With those tits, that ass, that face...
The power of one body over another,
but only one in the room.
Me,
or her?

writer's block

2004-08-10T00:40:00.000-06:00

I've had writer's block before--every writer has--but never like this. Usually, it's just that I can't start or I can't think of an idea. Sometimes, I get halfway through a story and don't know where I'm going so I can't finish. This time is different though. I know exactly where I came from, and where I'm going. I know exactly how the story is going to end. The problem is that I don't know how to get there. It's a matter of two or three transitory paragraphs, but they just won't come to me. I've tried starting it down. I've tried walking away from it for a few hours. I've tried my rollerblade with music technique. Nothing is working. I refuse to let this story die on me. This story will live and it will be published. I refuse to let another idea turn to shit. I refuse to go another year without publishing a single work. I am a real writer as of NOW.

lazy sunday

2004-08-08T19:59:00.000-06:00

I'm soooooo bored. I wasted hours by doing absolutely nothing today. I can't believe it. Tomorrow, it's back to work for one day before another day off. I fucking hate that. Why can't they give me too days off in a row? Or, at least put two or three days on between the days off. I really hate having one day off, another on, then another off again. It's some kind of irrational pet peeve or something. You know what else I hate? Shitty blog posts like the one I am making.

Fuck...my radio show is awful tonight. I'm missing song endings and spots where I should be talking. And I'm not even in a mood to talk, so the shit coming out of my mouth is lamer than usual. Fuck, this is pathetic.

Someone tell me why I used to find the internet interesting. Even the one or two forums that I visit regularly are boring the hell out of me. And, it's not like I'm lack a real life. I have a real life and it's fun. Hanging with friends and whatever else is good stuff. Internet is just my...hobby? I don't know. It's the thing I do if I'm at home and want to relax. Some people watch TV. I go online. TV is boring. The internet was less boring...until recently. Fuck...

message sent

2004-08-07T00:00:00.000-06:00

"I've got some letters inside of my drawer / that should have been stamped and delivered / ... / ...I write these letters to all of y'all but never send 'em."

- Sage Francis, "Message Sent"

Dear Kerri,

Thank you for breaking up with me. It seems odd, I know, to thank someone for dumping you; but I mean it - thank you. I thank you, not because I enjoyed the experience, but because I would never have dumped you myself. I loved you (I think), and that love became dysfunctional and unhealthy. That same dysfunction kept me from realizing just how unhealthy our relationship had become. I had stopped growing as a person (I'll avoid commenting about your growth, or lack thereof) and I had become isolated from nearly everyone around me. Our relationship prevented me from meeting new people, from getting involved in things that I've wanted to get involved with for a long time, and from having a healthy view of myself.

There is so much I could say about how our relationship stunted my growth, but I won't bother. I've said enough, and I don't want to cheapen what we did have. There was something real between us, though it died long before things came to an "official" end, and I don't want to ruin that by making it sound as though nothing good came of "us." So, I'm just going to end t his unsent letter by, once again, saying, "Thank you."

Thank you,

Adam.

registration woes

2004-08-04T22:31:00.000-06:00

I hate Beartracks. I hate trying to find courses at the last minute. I hate trying to find courses that work toward your degree. I hate trying to find courses that don't conflict with each, that are at times you are willing to be at school, and are interesting. I also hate the fact that the Department of Comparative Literature is so fucking stupid that they don't define the requirements for getting a minor in Comp Lit. As far as I can tell from their website, the requirements are either non-existent, or the same as those for a major. If they are the same as a major, this means that the student wishing to get a minor in Comp Lit will be doing the equivalent work of two majors (i.e.: their real major, plus the Comp Lit minor).

If this second situation is the case, it's fucking ridiculous. A minor in, for example, English, requires a minimum of 12 credits in English (in addition to the 6 required credits for all students at the U of A), at least 6 of which must be from a 300 or 400 level course. Relatively simple, and doesn't even require a 400 level course, necessarily. For Comp Lit, however, you need a minimum of 30 credits, at least 12 of which must be at the 400 level. This just doesn't make sense. How can the requirements for a minor be the same as a major? I emailed the department. Hopefully, I will get an answer tomorrow. I emailed them a few months ago with the same problem and, though I can't remember the answer - hence the need to ask again -, I think they said something along the lines of, "Unfortunately, we have not defined the requirements, but we recommend you take at least 12 credits at the 400 level." If they haven't defined the requirements, how the fuck can anyone get a minor in Comp Lit? Can I just take Comp Lit 100 and then say I have a minor in it? I really don't get it. Fuck, I'm so pissed off.

Any way, that's my bitching. Read this, and read the far more interesting post that came before it.

becoming human - one chapter at a time

2004-08-04T16:13:00.000-06:00

I've been reading Becoming Human, by Jean Vanier, lately. It's basically a philosophy book about how to become more fully human, more open, more compassionate, and all around "better." It sometimes seems too idealistic but, for the most part, I think it's dead-on. Here's an excerpt I read on the way to pay my confirmation deposit at the big ol' U today:

Not long ago, I met a man who had come to our community quite a few years ago. He is from an Algerian family and has a slight intellectual disability. Because of his abilities and because he worked hard, he was able to find a job and to live on his own. We met each other at the train station and traveled to Paris together. Being with him, I noticed how sensitive I was to the way people looked at him; I could feel when there was fear or dislike in their eyes because of his North African features.

When we ally ourselves with the excluded in society, not only are we enabled to see people as people and to join them in their struggle for justice, to work for community and places of belonging, but we also develop the critical tools for seeing what is wrong in our own society.

Now, in terms of racial differences, I've never had this experience. Recently, however, since becoming friends with Allan and, to a much lesser extent, Rob, I have come to notice this type of thing, and to have similar experiences, in terms of sexuality/sexual orientation. I've become hyper sensitive to, among other things, the use of "fag" and "faggot" as derogatory terms. It's not that I didn't notice these things before, it's just that I tended to be less aware of them because they didn't impact my life in as direct a way.

This, in part, is what Vanier is talking about in his book. In order to become more fully human, and to achieve a more tolerant society, we must be willing to embrace those who are different from us, and from the status quo. When we embrace these people - as people, not merely as stereotypes - we begin to see the fundamental flaws in our system of exclusion. Once we have begun this process with one "different" person, we will find that it is only logical to see other "different" people as people - as opposed, again, to stereotypes - and accept them and what they have to offer as well. Once you open your heart to someone who is different, it is only a matter of time before you are more free to open it to everyone.

Of course, we are not perfect and, as a result, we will always be held back by our own insecurities and ill conceived prejudices - Vanier, himself, admits that he is unable to be as fully free as he believes we should be - but it's a start. Embrace someone who is different, not because they are different, but precisely because they aren't so different after all. I'm not advocating forming token friendships, of course; that would be contrary to the whole concept. I'm merely stating that we are all human, and we are all in this thing called "life" together, so why not try and get along?

a life in 47 minutes...

2004-08-03T15:36:00.000-06:00

I've been listening to Mr. Lif's I Phantom a lot recently. It's an incredible album. The whole thing is a big concept album - I know, I know, concept albums suck, right? Wrong. - and it's amazing. Basically, it's like this. The first three tracks are the protagonist dreaming. The first, he dreams of being a "gangsta." He ends up getting killed. In the second, he is resurrected and changes his path. It's tough, but by the third track, he has made it big. Then, at the start of track four, his alarm clock wakes him up and he goes off to work. The rest of the tracks investigate the daily struggles that we all live through. At first, he focuses on his career so much that his family collapses. He gets remarried, decides to focus more on family than work. He is so focused on creating a perfect family that he neglects his kids from the first marriage, and his eldest daughter from the new one kills herself as a result of the pressures he puts on his whole family. The story, from there, takes on a more "world wide" view, looking at a bunch of different people (including some of our original family members) lives and the ways they are interconnected - Magnolia style. The last two tracks deal with a nuclear holocaust ending the world and the last thoughts of the soon-to-be-dead. Over all, it's fucking awesome. I'm listening to it non-stop trying to hear all the connects between songs and the foreshadowing and switches in character (not all songs - not even all verses - are written from the same point of view). It's incredible.

worst... movie... ever...

2004-08-03T01:30:00.000-06:00

"What the hell was that?" These were the words I uttered as The Chronicles of Riddick finished playing at Movies 12 today. Seriously, what the hell was that? It was the worst movie I've ever seen!

Lately, as I watch movies - especially the terrible ones - I am realizing that, "Someone actually wrote this." As far as shitty movies go, I wonder who writes this shit. More importantly, what asshole pays these writers? Is this what I have to reduce myself to to make a living on my writing? Fuck you Hollywood.

Any who...it's been a few hours since the movie so my big rant is toned down. I'm out of the stew and I don't know what to say. I'm not in the mood to reiterate what Rob, Allan, and Kyla were forced to endure in the car after the movie. It's all I talked about - how bad the movie was. The weird thing, despite thinking that Riddick is the shittiest movie I've ever seen, I'm not disappointed to have seen it. I don't regret it and I don't want my $3 back. Regardless, here is the list of why I hated this movie:

1. Big space battles are cool - except when you use so much stobe effect that the audience can't tell what the hell is going on.
2. Hand-to-hand combat is cool (though, in a sci-fi movie, it was a bit out of place) - except when you hide your terrible choreography by shaking the camera so much that the audience can't tell what the hell is going on.
3. Sci-fi (if you can call it that) is cool - except when the screenplay is so poorly written that the audience finds themselves asking, "What the hell is going on?" every ten minutes. When the movie ends and that question has still not been answered then your movie officially sucks.
4. The entire thing about "out running the sun" and "as long as I'm in the shade, the 700 degree temperatures don't effect me" thing on the prison planet was a bit too implausible.

Still, despite the over all shittiness, I had a good time tonight. I forgot to ask Allan why Ben was absent, considering the plans that Kyla told me about last night included him. So, Allan, if you are reading this, consider yourself asked.

Any way, I think I'm going to sleep now.

heavy eyelids

2004-08-01T23:52:00.000-06:00

Damn, I just got real tired real fast. I don't know where it came from. Maybe the past few weeks (which, for some reason, have felt fairly hectic) are catching up to me. I dunno. I should go to sleep soon though, so I can be less tired when I wake up. Yes, that's what sleep is.

Any who...I really came to post this:

Kyla wants me to hangout with her, Allan, and Ben (or should it be Allan and Ben, without the comma? They are a pair now, after all; no, a couple. A "pair" sounds platonic). I was like, "Sure, if I'm not tired." Then she said, "The boys want to go to amateur strip night at Buddy's," and I was like, "Sure, if I'm not tired." At the time, I meant it. Thinking about it a bit though, who am I kidding? I don't even like going to the female strippers. Am I really going to have a good time watching a bunch of dudes strip down? Doubtful.

Whatever, we'll see how I feel tomorrow. I mean, I do want to meet Ben, so maybe I'll still venture out for a night of debauchery?

kyla's gonna kill me

2004-08-01T01:37:00.000-06:00

I'm supposed to be asleep right now. I'm supposed to be getting a good night's sleep so I won't be tired at work tomorrow. This is why I'm not out partying with Kyla, Rob, and Shelley (though, I think those plans died because of Heritage Days any way). However, I'm obviously awake. I'll tell you why soon, but first...

I went to Whyte with Kyla today. Hung around, shopped, bought two kick ass CDs - I Phantom by Mr Lif, and Sleep No More by DJ Signify with Buck 65 and Sage Francis. The latter is the reason I am still awake.

As I was listening to the incredible tracks Signify produced, and the introspective lyrics that Sage and Buck laid on top of (some of) them, I was inspired to write. So, I've got a new verse tonight. The inspiration led to further inspiration: it was time to record my verse for "Money, Power, and Greed" (as I'm calling it). This is the first song that my brother and I are working on. So, I recorded several takes. I finally got one that is decent. I'm not happy with it at all, and I know I'll end up re-recording it, but I just wanted to laid down my verse. This way, Mike can listen to it and fuck around with filters and effects and stuff. Soon, I will sound good (technology can make you into a good singer/rapper). Then, after this was done, I fooled around with a few takes of this new verse (for a new song) that I was writing while listening to Sleep No More. So far, those takes aren't so great. Of course, I'm rapping without a beat - not an easy task - so it doesn't have as much rhythm as it potentially could. Oh well, this will all work out eventually as Mike and I get more serious about this little basement hip hop project of ours (this probably sounds so lame and poseur-esque but I don't care).

In related news, I've decided on my "rap name." I'm going to go by Apollo Delphi. Why? Because of the whole, "Apollo as god of wisdom," thing. The Delphi part, obviously, comes from the fact that the most famous oracle (of Apollo, no less) was at Delphi. So, the name is reference - with typical hip hop arrogance - to the fact that I'm trying to create music/poetry with some "prophetic wisdom" to it. I think this is fitting since my songs are, alternately, introspective (learn something from my past mistakes), and socially conscious (Sweatshop Union influences abound). So, yeah, I'm Apollo Delphi.

corrupted by the caribbean

2004-07-31T11:05:00.000-06:00

So, I haven't eaten Caribbean food since Kerri and I broke up. Actually, it's been longer than that, it's not like I ate it everytime I saw her. Let's say, for simplicity's sake, that it's been about six months since I've had Caribbean food. That's a long time to go without a type of food that I really enjoy. If I had to go that long without, say, pizza, I'd be sad. Lately, I've been having a real craving for Caribbean food. The one good Caribbean restaurant that was relatively close to my house closed a few months ago. Now, if I want to get a nice chicken roti, I have to go downtown and pay big bucks - or go to the ghetto slum bar that I went to with Kerri one time; I, being a scrawny white kid, felt rather out of place in what was clearly a "black" bar. To remedy this, I think I'm going to try and find a recipe for West Indian style curry on the 'net. Then, I'll try and cook up my own. It'll be great (I hope).

random thoughts at quarter to one in the morning

2004-07-31T00:42:00.000-06:00

1. Sage Francis is incredible. Makeshift Patriot is an incredible song.

2. Some people are retarded. This woman pulls into the Zellers parking lot, takes up three handicap spots, is half out into the lane, and puts her fucking hazards on because SHE KNOWS SHE'S IN THE WAY! I was tempted to write down her license plate and go back into the store to tell them to call security or the cops or something so this woman might get a ticket but I didn't bother.

3. The Daily Show is wonderful.

4. The Democrats should have selected Al Sharpton as their candidate. Of course, he's BLACK and that just can't happen.

5. "Faggot" is a terrible, terrible word. As you may know, "faggot" means "bundle of wood or sticks." The term, in reference to homosexuality, is not, as my idiot brother said when he was much younger, "Two sticks! HA HA!" It is, in fact, a reference to the bundles of wood used as fuel to burn homosexuals at the stake. "Flamer" also comes from this.

6. Keeping this blog, I think, will prove beneficial come September and Opinion writing time. An Opinion article is, essentially, a more structured blog entry - potentially, any way.

7. I think I might have an idea for a feature (or, at the very least, a regular news piece. I have some snooping around to do first - we'll see).

8. My class timetable is still incredibly fucked up. I can't fix it until I go down to the Admin building and pay my stupid $9 library overdue fees.

9. I have a feeling that I won't be able to finish in four years, even if I take a full ten courses. I might be back for year number five next year.

10. I tired.

11. I have no plans for tomorrow. I work Sunday morning and I'm a big sissy so I don't want to go out at night, but hanging around Whyte or West Ed during the day might be fun. Or maybe I'll drag my brother to Fahrenheit 9/11.

12. I'm going to wear my Sweatshop Union shirt tomorrow.

13. I'm going to sleep now.

cougar attack, again!

2004-07-30T09:35:00.000-06:00

Ok...this time, she's 51. Enough said.

we want to cause you great amounts of pain...

2004-07-30T09:18:00.000-06:00

Revenue Canada is "investigating" my tuition claim on my taxes. Stupid bastards. I read the letter and, from what I understand, it will actually be relatively painless. Still, I'm not too pleased about having to dig through my terribly organized stack of papers to find what I need to make the tax man go away. Sadness...

gold rush, y'all!

2004-07-28T11:48:00.000-06:00

Monday was K-Days time. I ventured out to the X with Allan and Scott. While I did have a great time just wandering in circles and eating carnival food, I found that this year's X (as in eXhibition) was most boring I've ever attended. Oh well, it was still fun.

The concert of the night was, as you already know, Sweatshop Union and Swollen Members. Sweatshop was great. Unfortunately, the audience was pretty dead (probably because most of them were there for Swollen and may not even had heard of Sweatshop before). Dead audience makes for a less fun show, even if you totally love the band. Still, it was awesome. They even tossed in some Kyprios solo tracks (just the two radio/TV singles I think, unless there was a third that I didn't notice). When they played "Better Days" and "The Thing About It" (their two recent radio/video singles) I thought that was the end of the set. I was kind of disappointed, thinking that they weren't going to do "Us" (my favourite Sweatshop Song). But, just as I was getting sad, Conscience announced, "We need your help on this one," and told everyone when to shout, "Us!" Yes, it was brilliant.

Swollen put on a high energy show, as always. It was fun, though my fanboy-ism is not nearly as big as it was when I first saw them live (perhaps because the debacle that is Heavy turned me off of them a bit) so it wasn't as good as I had expected.

Scott and Allan looked sometimes bored and sometimes amused (though, in Allan's case, the amusement seemed more related to the fact that the bands kept telling people to, "Get your hands up," and such; as well as the trio who lit up a joint immediately beside us). I know it wasn't their preferred time of music, so I'm not sure if they had a good time or not, but I'm fairly sure they did (I hope they did). The jolly drunken Newfie with the "Republic of Newfoundland" who kept insisting that he wasn't Canadian, but rather a Newfoundlander, was amusing as well.

Finally, I bought some gear. Sweatshop's Local 604 CD (cheaper at the show than at the store) and a Sweatshop shirt (pics to come in a later post). My brother got his CD autographed, making me infinitely jealous, and...umm...yeah.

THE END.

cougar attack!

2004-07-25T09:56:00.000-06:00

So, a few days ago, in a moment of hilarity that I don't care to explain, I setup an "intimate encounters" profile on Lavalife. In case you can't figure it out, the purpose of "intimate encounters" is to engage in one-night stands, threesomes, or find a fuck buddy. Basically, if you want sex without emotional investment, you'll find it there. Today, I logged on to check my "relationships" account and noticed that I had a message on my "intimate" one. This is all well and good, but I don't think I plan to respond for two reasons:

1. Despite having this profile, I'm not really the type to engage in "emotionless sex."
2. The woman is 32. Not necessarily a bad thing, but I'm not sure if I want my first one-night stand to be with a woman 12 years my senior. Then again...older women...experience...we'll see.

Any way, tomorrow is K-Days day, so if you're coming with me and, for some reason, haven't received an email or a phone call, post a comment or give me an email or a call and let me know. I figure we can meet at Northlands (inside the Ag?) around noon? I don't know...we'll form a plan soon.

watchu talkin' bout willis?

2004-07-25T00:26:00.000-06:00

I need some witty phrases (hopefully, wittier than Gary Coleman's one and only brush with real fame). Why? Well, I'm going to buy one of those things that lets you print iron on decals to put on t-shirts and a few plain white t-shirts. The quality is probably shit (considering I'll be printing it off my crappy inkjet) and the decals will probably fade and fall off in a few washing, but I felt like trying it out for fun.

Any way, I need some witty slogans to put on the shirts, so tell me some ideas and if I use and of them I'll post pics of me wearing the shirts.

i wanna take you to the gay bar

2004-07-24T03:51:00.000-06:00

Tonight, I went to Buddy's with Rob and Kyla. This wasn't too huge of a surprise, since the plan to go to the Roost tomorrow was already in place (though, honestly, tonight worked better since it turns out that I work early on Sunday morning and would likely have had to cancel the plan). To hear Kyla talk about it, I excepted to have a huge shock to my system: drag queens galore, half-naked men (there were a few, but not a lot), and guys gyrating on me (there were none, and I'm not sure whether to be relieved or jilted). There was none of this (well, very little). Instead, it was just like any other club - but with better music and a much larger percentage of men.

I'm drawing a bit of a blank right now, but let me mention the few points I remember:

1. Some Chilean guy was hitting on Rob all night.
2. Chilean guy eventually asked me if I was gay or straight. I told him I was straight.
3. He says something along the lines of, "That's cool," and smiles.
4. Mr Chile becomes strangely talkative with me upon finding out I am straight. The few things I managed to understand over the music were something like this:

Chile: Why are you here then?
Me: *gestures toward Rob*
Chile: *smiles*
--time passes--
Chile: Is this your first time here?
Me: Yeah.
Chile: Oh, so you're a new gay then? *laughs*
Me: *laughs* I guess so. *laughs*
--time passes--
Chile: *indicating Rob, who has gone to write down his phone number* I'm sorry, but your friend looks very nice to me.
Me: *wonders why he just apologized*

All of this leads me to wonder, did he feel the need inquire about my orientation because my dancing was so bad?

Any way, that's it for now. I'm sure I'll have more to say in the morning, but I've got to work so I'm going to get some sleep.

doggy bag

2004-07-22T14:33:00.000-06:00

Last night, me and Spencer ordered a disgustingly excessive amount of food. We didn't quite realize it until it came to the table, but it was a lot. We each ended up taking almost a full meal's worth of food home with us. I am now snacking on this food. I have come to realize, as a result of this snack, that cold onion rings are very good but cold fries aren't so good.

fun times

2004-07-22T03:25:00.000-06:00

Went out with Spencer for a few hours tonight. Good time. Talked about spirituality, pansexuality (the ideal human sexuality?), nature, the fact that human self-destruction is merely nature's way of dealing with a population that has no natural enemies and, as a result, is occupying too much territory (thus leading to intraspecies conflicts, thus leading to war, thus leading to humans destroying humans, thus leading to a rather violent form of population control). Basically, we had a great intellectually stimulating conversation, as per usual. Fun times. If I was more awake, I'd try to be more coherent about it, but I'm not more awake. In fact, I'm very tired, but I need to write because, until a few minutes ago, I wasn't really tired and wasn't ready to sleep. I think I am ready now though. Good night.

that went well...i think

2004-07-21T21:33:00.000-06:00

I talked to Erin (the Lavalife girl) on MSN today. It seemed to go pretty well. It was far more awkward than a first date ever could be, which is weird because usually the "remove" of the internet lets me be more open with people (even if I already know them in real life, oddly enough). Any way, it was awkward, but it seemed to go well. It was all pretty superficial conversation, but that's were most relationships (romantic or otherwise) start, so it's all good. She cut it off kind of suddenly, and without much explanation, but it didn't seem to be, "This guy sucks, I'm leaving" kind of thing (though, it did come shortly after I confessed to be a "perpetually 'starving student,'" LOL).

Other than that little thing, nothing much happened today. I pretty much wasted the whole afternoon after work, which is a shame because I had big plans of actually cleaning my room and even trying to clean and organize the shelves on the big blue wardrobe that acts as my closet (have I ever mentioned how crappy it is to have a room without a closet?) so that I can fit more crap on them (because large but organized piles of crap are much better than small but disorganized piles of crap which, because of their poor organization, take up as much room as the better organized large ones would). Yeah, that's about it. Now, I sit and wait for Spencer to get off work and see if he wants to hang out (he's damn near impossible to get a hold of these days, hopefully he doesn't already have plans).

Finally, I'm starting to think along the same lines as Kyla in regards to the whole "being too open on my blog" thing. I know I've been invaded by at least one Gateway-type person. A person who I have to work with next year. A person who I may have accidentally alienated (though, he seems to be cool about my previous comments). Bah...whatever. This is my bitch zone. FUCK YOU ADAM ROZENHART (but please continue to publish my articles Mr. EoC)!! LOL. Yeah...any way, enough with the lame attempts at humour. I'm posting this bitch.

sweatshop union and kyrpios

2004-07-20T21:31:00.000-06:00

Ok, if you are reading this and you are living in the city of Edmonton, you are required to come with me to the following concerts:

1. Swollen Members w/ Sweatshop Union - July 26, Telus Stage @ Klondike Days. Free with Klondike Days admission.
2. Kyprios w/ Curtis Santiago and DJ Vinyl Ritchie - August 12, Sidetrack Cafe. Advance tickets: $10.

That's all for now folks.

crisis of faith

2004-07-19T23:12:00.000-06:00

I'm all conflicted about my religion. I've been thinking about it near constantly lately. Well, it's something that I've always thought a lot about - ever since I "converted" - but lately it's been more than the usual "question everything" line of thought that I try to apply to all aspects of my life. This is more like, "It's totally irrational to believe any of this! Sure, I believe there is a God, and I believe that Jesus was pretty awesome as philosophers/moral authorities go, but as a religion, none of this stuff makes any sense!" I'm really torn. I don't know what to do. I'm not sure whether I'm still holding on because of actual faith, or because I've bought into the whole stupid, "I better believe or else I'm going to Hell," thing. If it's option number two then I'd better add hypocracy to the list of things that are wrong with me (though, everyone has their own little hypocracies, so I suppose I shouldn't be too hard on myself). Any way, I guess I'll have to sort on my own - "inner conflict" and all - so I'm going to stop writing now.

wait, now it costs money to GET a girlfriend?

2004-07-19T00:51:00.000-06:00

Ok, we all know that girlfriends (and boyfriends) cost money. Apparently, however, if you are a lonely soul like me who has decided to resort to an online dating service, it also costs money to get that girlfriend in the first place. I got a "smile" today. A smile, essentially, is an incredibly brief message that you send to someone to show that you are interested. This type of message is free. If you want to have any real correspondence, you have to buy credits (for emails, instant messaging, and more). I just paid $14.99 USD for 50 credits so I could send this girl an email. It costs 6 credits to send an email. Once you have sent one email, all other emails to that person are free. I just spent $14.99 USD to send ONE email. Bah! I mean, sure, I'm likely to end up using more credits sooner or later (I mean, I paid the money, I might as well start taking this thing a bit more seriously), but the fact of the matter is I spent about $20 CDN just so I could start a dialouge with a strange girl who doesn't even have a picture on her profile. Of course, who knows, maybe this could bud into something great. I'm just a bit jaded about having to spend money for love (of course, I didn't have to...but you know what I mean).

september is the month of poetry

2004-07-18T16:19:00.000-06:00

Leonard Cohen is releasing a new album. The album is slated to drop on September 28, 2004. I really have very little to say, the article explains it pretty succinctly, except that I'm excited. Cohen is one of those few lyricist who is truly a poetic genius (of course, it doesn't hurt that he's poet first, song writer second). I can't wait.

all my friends are gone

2004-07-17T21:00:00.000-06:00

Fuck, this weekend is sucking. I have the whole weekend off, but everyone else is busy. Kyla and Allan are in Cold Lake for the air show. Spencer is in the studio recording for Smoothride. Chris is doing whatever weird and scary shit Chris does. Everyone else is just a casual acquaintance that I really don't feel comfortable calling up since we doing really talk outside of school and/or work. Wow...what a waste of a weekend.

dog days of summer

2004-07-16T21:29:00.000-06:00

Holy fucking shit it's hot! I'm dying. I was dying at work. I'm dying
today. I swear to God I must have lost five pounds in sweat today. It
is not comfortable - not in the least bit. Mother just demanded that
the fan in the basement, the only thing keeping me comfortable in my
little hovel, but taken upstairs. Well, considering that I don't own
the fan or the house, I didn't argue. Actually, my reasons aren't as
noble as that. To be honest, I'm just too damn hot and lethargic to
argue with anyone.

--

new record from Smooth Ride

Smooth Ride (Spencer's band) is recording 3 more tracks tomorrow
(well, the vocals at least, I assume they are taking the whole weekend
to do it all) and will be putting out a 6 song EP (professional, actual
packaging and all that jazz). Cost is, so far, undetermined. It will
include the 3 songs from the first EP and 3 new songs. I'm looking
forward to it. I promised him I'd buy a copy (and, really, why wouldn't
I? They are insanely talented). I highly recommend everyone else buy a
copy. In fact, in order to help spur sales, I'm going to upload all
three tracks from the free EP right now. I'll edit this post with URLs
as soon as I am finished uploading.

It's up, click here.

deposit? oh yeah, school costs money...

2004-07-15T22:58:00.000-06:00

I got an email from the Registrar's Office today informing me that I haven't paid my confirmation deposit and that it is due in 30 days. Shit. I forgot all about that. Actually, I'd forgotten about school almost entirely lately. I still have to fixed the utterly fucked up schedule that I have in place at the moment. I guess it's time to fight with Beartracks some more. Maybe I should use Bearscat?

In other news, this one guy at work is gay. I guess he's come out to a few girls. I thought we were pretty good friends as far as work buddies go. Why the fuck hasn't he told me? I mean, he made it relatively apparent the other day (the same day, in fact, that it was confirmed when one of the girls he confided in told me - I have no idea why she told me and broke his confidence, but that's not the point), but didn't come right out and say it? Is it because I'm a guy? Do I look like I'll commit a hate crime? I mean, sure, Zellers seems to employ a lot of bigots, but I don't act like one, do I? Then again, neither does anyone else. They are all great people - honest - they're just ignorant and, as a result, hold stupid biases against gay people. I guess, if they all seem cool except that one thing, I probably don't appear any different than they do. Wow...this is rather self-indulgent. I think I'd better shut up now.

wow...my vocal chords work again!

2004-07-15T10:55:00.000-06:00

It's amazing! Ever since I wrote that letter to Kerri and had that moment of "conclusion" on Tuesday night, I've been feeling great! Not only have I finally "got over her" (as much as I ever will, until I've fallen head over heels for someone else, I suspect), but I can actually talk to her comfortably without feeling all awkward. It's just stupid small talk, but I can actually carry-on a conversation with her without turning into a fucked up bundle of confused emotion. It's great!

Other than that, I think I'm going to try drag Spencer to lunch with me today if he isn't working and then maybe go see Fahrenheit 9/11. We'll see how that goes - lately it's been very difficult to get a hold of Spence.

dating services

2004-07-14T13:28:00.000-06:00

A combination of boredom, curiosity, and being mildly "lonesome" after last night's conclusion to Adam & Kerri made me sign up for Lavalife. I've actually seen a person or two that interested me. We'll see if anything comes of it or if it's just a silly thing I did in a moment of weakness.

the champion goes down in the second round!

2004-07-13T23:04:00.000-06:00

Round 2

The champion steps into the ring to much applause. The challenger enters. The bell rings. The champion throws what should have been a knock out punch. The challenger ducks to the side. The blow hits, but only grazes our challenger. The challenger returns with a quick one-two punch and the champ goes down - at least he went down swinging.

So ends the saga that is (or, was) Adam and Kerri. Once again, it is merely Adam and his miserable self-loathing. Don't worry though, the self-loathing will only be a temporary thing. Hell, all of this transpired less than 90 minutes ago and already I feel better. I think that, despite my apparently failure, the letter liberated me. I am finally free to move on. Life is good.

i forgot

2004-07-12T22:56:00.000-06:00

I was going to talk about stuff, but I forgot what. I'll try to remember as I go.

1. Work today was unstressful (it's a word now), mostly because I was not forced to face Ms. Ramachala, the cause of all my neuroses. She is off tomorrow as well so that means between now and Thursday (the designated day of Discussion, with a capital D) I only have one shift with her. This is good - it makes things less awkward.

2. I have somehow become an accomplice to a Hot Wheels collector. Apparently, he usually deals with Eric and gives him a "token of my appreciation" for putting a few cases aside for him to rummage through and get all the cars he is trying to find. Nothing illegal, but a bit shady since the stock is not going on the shelf when it is supposed to and Eric is getting money on the side. Apparently, I was to get this money on the side today but I couldn't find the new shipment of Hot Wheels. I said that I'd put them aside for him if I found them but I really didn't care enough to go look a second time. Hopefully, I'll be lucky and not run into him tomorrow. Hell, if I'm really lucky, Eric will be in and they'll go back to their usual arrangement.

3. Based on point #2, I am officially a wuss.

4. I ate a chocolate bar a few minutes ago. It was a Mr. Big. It was shit. I no longer enjoy Mr. Big for some reason.

5. I think I'm done because I can't think of anything important or interesting to say.

attack of neurosis

2004-07-11T22:15:00.000-06:00

Why the Hell hasn't she called? Did she somehow magically decide to actually listen to the "1 week" thing? WHAT'S GOING ON?!?

what's the strange feeling in my stomach?

2004-07-11T18:45:00.000-06:00

I feel sad...or something. See, Jake "sports boy" Troughton mysteriously found my blog (probably because I once posted a link to it on the now defunct Gateway blog) and got all sad because it kind of looked like I was being kind of mean to him and stuff. I felt sad because he felt sad because, really, I wasn't intending to say anything bad about him at all. I just meant to say that my conversations with him are always brilliantly awkward which could be as much my fault as it could be his. So, consider this a big ol': "I'm sorry, Jake."

On a semi-humorous related note, Jake probably thinks I'm some freaky religio-boy because of my bizarre "i saved a soul" post. I AM NOT JESUS FREAK!

--

otherwise, a good day

Other than the sad feelings thing, it's been a pretty good day. I had the day off, I sat back and relaxed, went for a walk, bought some books from the clearance tables at Coles, and then rented a crappy robot fighting game and played with my brothers for a while. Goodness. Hopefully, the inevitable phone call that will come tonight doesn't mar an otherwise brilliant day.

--

orkut

I am now an Orkut member. If you are interested in an invite, give me a shout.

last night

2004-07-11T10:22:00.000-06:00

Last night I went to see Mean Girls. I went with Kyla and her friend Rob who just sort of showed up by my house as I was getting off work. BP's after that. Good times... As for the movie, I'm sure Kyla will be talking about what a travesty it was (and will do so much more eloquently than I could) so I'll let you read about it on her blog. For my part, let's just say that it was a bad movie, but more still surprisingly fun to watch - more fun than it should have been, that's for sure.

--

it has begun

Kerri called me last night. I didn't get the calls because my phone was set to "silent" mode (since I didn't want it to ring in the theatre) and I had forgotten to change it back to normal after leaving the theatre. Maybe it's better that way. I got my confirmation that she read the letter (the timing of the call leads me to no other realistic assumption about why she called) and I didn't have to face the awkwardness that may has resulted from talking to her. Still, I'm sure we will talk tonight sometime. I just don't want either of us to make any rash decisions (well, mostly her, I pretty much made my decision by the mere fact of writing the damn thing) so I really hope she'll take the "let's wait a week before we discuss this" thing seriously.

--

i am a wreck

Physically, I'm a wreck. The main thing is that I'm suffering the worst acne outbreak I've suffered in years. It's relatively minor compared to what I used to have when I was a teenager, but it's enough to be noticeable and mildly irritating. I think it has more to do with stress than sweat; I mean, I sweat a lot every summer but my acne usually goes away in the summer (something about the sun drying it out + vitamin D, or something) - despite the sweat - but this year it just isn't happening like that. So, I suspect stress. The cause of my stress? If you don't know, what blog have you been reading?

Any way, that's all for now.

the letter is sent

2004-07-09T22:35:00.000-06:00

The letter has been given to Kerri. If I turn into a neurotic mess for the next few days, that's probably why. We'll see how things go.

gateway fun + me = not possible

How do I manage to be working every weekend that Gateway people are doing fun stuff? Like, for example, this weekend they are all going "garage sailing," as they are calling it. It would be so fun, but I am working tomorrow. This makes me sad. At least I managed to make it out to the year end party back in April. That was cool because I met Kyla.

--

Chris called me. He's meeting some co-workers of his at Crazyhorse. I am tempted to go because it will give me a chance to get out of the house and have a couple of beers and have fun with a friend. Of course, I'm not into the whole strip club thing so I doubt I'll go. Plus, I'm pretty tired. The store was incredibly hot today, for some reason, and so I'm extra exhausted (despite doing shit all for most of my shift). Maybe I'll go for a midnight walk with my camera and take more pictures of things like I did the other day (I really need to get a digital camera so these kind of pictures can be posted on the blog immediately instead of weeks later when I finally develop the film and scan it onto the computer).

a letter (this is not the actual letter to kerri)

2004-07-08T11:43:00.000-06:00

Dear Kerri,

I've been thinking about you a lot lately - non-stop, in fact. Love will do that to a person. I love you. I still love you. Hell, I never stopped loving you, even though I sure as Hell tried. So, I'm still in love with you and I've written you a letter - a long one - in the hopes that I can let you know how I feel. Whether the letter will change anything between us, or simply help me move on, is hard to say. Either way, I need to give it to you for my own benefit.

I talked to Kyla last night for a good long while. She helped me make sense of some of the things that have been rattling around in my brain over the last few weeks. I think that I am approaching this situation correctly or, if not, I'm approaching it the only way I know how. I will not go down without a fight. If this is really the end of us, then I'm going down swinging. If not, well, I'll be happy as Hell.

Happy as Hell? I know I'm going off on a tangent here, but how did this phrase come to mean: I am very happy? It must have started off as a sarcastic comment that became "literal."

Any way, I think I'm doing this right. I love you. I'm pretty damn sure that you love me and are just too terrified (of what? Of commitment at a young age?) to admit it (to yourself, mostly). So, please, if you can do so without causing yourself much undue trauma, lower that barrier you've put up. It's so transparent. I can see right through it and I swear that when I look at you I still see love in your eyes. Stop pretending. Stop hiding. Give in and let things be as they are supposed to be!

Yours,

Adam.

--

That's that...and now, a picture of the wristband (I'll post one of the t-shirt soon too, probably on the weekend):